Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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