i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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