I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
