I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
