just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
