You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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