I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
