i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
