I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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