dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize