the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize