why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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