Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
