you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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