I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
