It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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