Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
