I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
