Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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