It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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