I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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