just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
