she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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