dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
