didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
