Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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