hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
be right there i have to get my cape
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
