i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
