they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
