we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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