If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Randomize
