she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
