One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
