if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
