hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
