Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
