it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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