youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
