I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize