there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
