He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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