The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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