Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
