do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
