so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
