seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
