guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My pussy is not your playground.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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