He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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