Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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