We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
