i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
well you can't waste a boner
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
