to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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