You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize