any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
