Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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