So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
