Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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