She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
