So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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