I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
