you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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