i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
