The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
