If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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