this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
