u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
zippers are such a cool invention
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
