I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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