roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
