Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
