I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
