Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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