you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
