so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
