Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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