sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize