I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
